On the rocks in the summer
Up when its cold
How my heart feels now with out you
U were like durga
The great mother
Misunderstood like kali
Loving like saraswati
Your poems silly, but poems still
You broke ground
You cared for your kids
Your final pen stroke?
Sparse, and finally allowing all to work it out their own way
All of us lost without you
Even if they don't know it
My man's love and arms
My friends' and children's laughter and conversations
Is this all devotion?
We are guided by our heads so often
The busyness of life...the business of things
The day to day
Perhaps it is in our times of devotion to love that we find our true meanings?
Our true selves?
The connection to the heart?
Or perhaps we are all addicts?
Ever searching for that connection we felt when in heaven?
When in our mother's wombs?
In our mother's arms?
So often resisted
But must be embraced, cannot be quelled
Much like labor
An inevitable process
We have to experience the whole thing
The whole human process
we must, though, pamper our bodies thanking them for their life time of work,
accepting their changes and working from that place
Let god in
Let your body melt away
Maybe sometimes there is just the lesson and walking gracefully away
Maybe that really is what it's all about? Letting go of right and sometimes
letting go of people and the resolution of the relationship
Love in cyrilliac, on my ankle
Love in any language is beautiful
But cyrilliac reminds me of a love from a man that was
Pure and honest
Commited and fun
Adventurous and safe
These brothers, they coexist in a dark corner of the mind
A corner of protection of self
I have noticed brother fear is usually the first to appear, then their cousin sadness, and then the protector anger
Anger does what fear and sadness cannot.
He externalizes, turns the fear and sadness to the outside and often gets us into trouble
Of not being kind and loving enough
Of being left out and missing the fun
Of unconditional love not existing
How do friends just fade away? Men...
Of being taken advantage of
I enjoy my alone time
My life...without these people?
Changes have come
I have grown past bonding over our pain
I want to bond over happy
I have to let you go
Cannot take your pain in
Cannot be made to feel sad/guilty/unaccepted for my happiness
It makes me doubt my happiness
Makes me doubt my gut
I want to fall into the safety, the good ness, the love
I choose happiness, love, light
I send you with compassion that I will always have for you
47 years ago, your sweet soul came to play, to experience, to love and be loved
Your mama must have smiled so bright to see your deep warm eyes, feel the warmth
and love in your heart
You are a kind gentle soul, you exude a peace, a grounding, a warmth
You have raised and loved your children, lived a full life, loved, learned,
stood by people in hard times
You have welcomed the beauty of nature and song
You have brought happiness and love and a gentleness to those you meet
You have assured great customer service to the people of freehold
Cheers to you my capricorn lover
I raise a glass of chilled vodka to your life, your presence
You, and ur contribution to the light and happiness of the world
The clock on the ceiling
Every hour as I roll over to look
Reminding me of the sand man's abandonment tonight
My beautiful man lays next to me
Eyes peacefully closed. Watching as a landscape of dreams dance in his head
A low rhythmic snore
Reminding me of my lost ticket to the land of nod
Perhaps winkin and blinkin in their wooden shoe are concerned about my late
The rain outside is so peaceful, so comforting, keeping me company while the
clock on the ceiling and I have this game of love and hate
My lover occasionally reaches for me, a loving gesture, warm and comforting.
A further invitation to join him in his rest, his dreams, this magical place of
our creation that I once again cannot reach
Perhaps tomorrow I will only see the flowing blue lights of the clock in the
ceiling at 630am
A chinese new year transition poem
This past year of the snake has carved fractures - chasms into my heart allowing a painful clear light to shine through
I know truth more clearly now
More totally now
Know myself more clearly and totally now
Embracing the new moon
The new year
My new self
Shedding of selves
Like a beautiful snake ages we too shed our skins. As the ancient gods and goddess come back to shift humanity- in new guises visnu becoming krisna....laksmi coming to us again as Radha....we too shed our selves. Shed who we thought we were. Let go of beliefs....truths that we once held dear...believed...shaped our lives by....to open to new possibilities....this change comes hard for some...becomes a struggle to cling to the old worn-out self. The person and image we no longer need. But if we step outside. Allow the process, like the snake, we find a new - even more beautiful self. A new smoother graceful presence in the world
The leaves sway The branches move With the wind With the change Flexible Loose Non static We struggle We so often stiffen Fight the flow Fight the rhythms of life and change Nature shows us change is all that is constant...rhythm...change...seasonal.... We must learn to be open to this Bending like the leaves and branches of the oak in my yard Grounded/strong yet Flexible reaching for heaven and the light and rooted to the earth